From an early age, I was known as a tomboy. I was obsessed with Ninja Turtles and climbing trees. Rarely did anyone see me in a dress. Secretly, I would pee in the shower because I could stand up and occasionally used a funnel. I remember telling classmates in 3rd grade that I thought I had the brain of a boy.

I grew up Baptist/Non-Denominational in a small town in Michigan. I was brought up believing that being gay or lesbian was an abomination and would be sent to Hell. I never even knew what transgender was until Caitlyn Jenner had her interview on TV. In high school, I told friends that I was bi-curious, but never mentioned it to my parents. I just didn't grow up in an inclusive family. My mother went to an all-girls religious high school, and we went to church every Sunday. As a teenager, I joined our local community church and became very active in the youth group. I practically lived in the church. I didn't date until I was 16, and that was only because my mom pressured me to. She was terrified I was a lesbian, so I starting dating a boy.

One hundred percent—my beliefs have changed. I'm ashamed of my thoughts on the bathroom bills before I transitioned, but I was naïve. I now realize there are a lot of LGBTQ+ people, especially in the South, that are afraid to come out because of the Bible belt. I personally have been discriminated against when a Baptist church told me I couldn't be a member anymore after 7 years because I had transitioned and joined a small group. It devastated me, and I still haven't fully recovered, but I realized the church turned me away, not God. I really wanted to infiltrate a conservative church, let them get to know me, and change their views on the LGBTQ+ community. I knew I might get some push back, but I didn't actually expect it because I was a long-time member and kept to myself. I had gotten close to the couples in my small group, so losing them was a big blow. This was also right before COVID, so even more isolation.

I did a lot of soul-searching and read a lot of books about transgender Christians and what the Bible said about it. Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians by Austen Hartke and God Doesn't Make Mistakes by Laurie Suzanne Scott were 2 of many that really helped. Knowing there were other transgender Christians out there helped me to accept myself. God made me this way, so I have to make the best of it and show everyone else that we are normal people that just want to live our lives and love God. If the Church turns away the LGBTQ+ community, it's their loss, but everyone should be able to hear the story of Christianity and accept Christ into their life. Isn't that the purpose, to make disciples of men? The thing I've learned the most is that the world isn't just black and white, but a lot of grey, blue, red, orange, green, purple, pink, brown, and yellow. God loves EVERYONE—period!

Overall, I am more confident and accept myself. I did lose my mother and church support, but I still have some close friends and family. I long for a church community and hope to find it in the future. I'm raising my 2 young sons to be inclusive, resilient, and accepting. There has been bullying with my older son, but I'm teaching him that other peoples' words can't hurt you and that they don't know what they are talking about. We know the truth, and that's all that matters. Life isn't fair or easy, but being true to yourself makes living more worth it.