I became aware of my gay identity early on in middle school. It was a trying time, and like most people, I was curious about sex and didn’t receive much in terms of comprehensive sexual education. So, the LGBTQ+ community was a mystery for me, except for how I heard it talked about as sinful in my church context.

Early in life, I believed LGBTQ+ Christians couldn’t exist. I believed there wasn’t a way for a gay Christian to exist. There was no way, in my mind, for those who loved the same sex to also love Jesus. Early in college, I resigned myself to be single and celibate after trying to date women and not finding any attraction.

My beliefs changed actually when I was in seminary, learning the Greek and Hebrew of the Bible and how interpretation of the Bible worked. I found that there was so much nuance to interpretation that was often based on the work of old, cis white men over hundreds of years, but especially after 1946 and the addition of homosexuality into the RSV (Revised Standard Version). It also took the experience of being alone while many of my single straight friends found happiness and joy in a partner. I found that I wanted that same happiness and began exploring how I could keep my Christian faith and sexuality.

Rene Girard’s books were helpful along with places like Q Christian Fellowship, Matthias Roberts’s podcast, Queer Theology podcast, and my therapist in working toward affirmation.

My life now is one where I’m pretty much fully out, dating, and happily finding congruence between my faith and sexuality. I’ve been able to find happiness and joy while keeping my faith in Jesus. My faith has become much more progressive, and I’ve been able to see how much God cared for the marginalized and oppressed.