Unchanged - #UNCHANGEDLGBTQ STORIES

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Elizabeth Lowry

For me, I found out this year. 2020. I had experienced a relationship with a girl in 2018, but I had repressed that because how could I be this way and love the Lord? I repressed it until this past summer, and that's when a lot of things came to light for me. I realized a lot about who I am and why I did things a certain way. I thought that the relationship that I had experienced was a "one and done" taste of what I liked, but it was actually always there.

I grew up in a Christian household and the exposure I got to the LGBTQ+ community didn't come until I was in high school. I was raised in private Christian schools and even homeschooled when I was a child. I didn't meet any LGBTQ+ Christians, but when I found out, I figured that most of them stay hidden from letting the public know because of their shame. I've experienced this too. I have yet to tell the close Christians in my life about my bisexuality. And that's a choice that I've made so that I can still feel accepted and loved, because one of my friends admitted to them that he was bisexual as well, and they looked down on him for it.

As of now, I am 22 years old and I have not stopped loving people in the LGBTQ+ community. I know that my parents feel a strong dislike towards us (even myself), and I don't want to act like that. Jesus wanted us to have life and life to the full, and one of the ways we are able to do that is through love. I feel like loving people isn't just something you do on a whim. You choose love because you want to.

For me, I really have leaned on my friends for advice in how to navigate being bisexual. I do not currently attend a church due to my work schedule being different each week. I think that the most affirmation I've received comes from my boyfriend who loves and accepts me for who I am and who I love. And I'm so grateful to him for that.

My life now is difficult. I am aware of my sexuality and the homophobia that goes on because of it. I get it from my parents, whom I told suddenly. I didn't even know that I was actually bisexual until I told them. Even with the fact that I went out with another girl once. I was good at repressing it and now it seems like sometimes it's the only defining characteristic of me.

I would like to also say that this is the most me I've felt in a long time. I have freedom in who I am and that makes me feel very excited for this time in my life.