It all started for me when I was 7 in primary school, I began to notice I was different like I didn’t “fit in” with the other kids, especially the girls.

Over the years, I kept my attention on drawing, reading books and spending all my free time at my church with my family. Our family has always been a part of church, it is their one focus. My parents believe church comes first—it is non-negotiable, and in order to be blessed and granted into heaven, we must always follow the Bible. I first knew I liked girls when I was 12. I had a crush on a girl in my grade, and I thought it was normal. I didn’t realise until my family began to notice I didn’t dress or act a certain :girly: way. Plus, I was at the age where I should start talking about boys.

I didn’t know being gay was wrong, and I loved God so much I just began to notice people were avoiding me, and I knew I was different. I didn’t know anyone gay could even be in church. No one spoke about homosexuality in a positive light, it was always hidden and pushed down, unwelcomed and unnatural. Who could love God and be gay? I started to realise that was me, and I felt more alone than ever.

I’ve been on a very long journey of battling myself and my parents who also were trying so hard to change me since they found out I was gay. But, I know that God wasn’t finished with me, why would he make me this way just to suffer in a super spiritual, religious community? It was when I met my now fiancé when God affirmed my sexuality, not just through prayer, but also through other people, homophobic Christians, that had heard from God about how I was about to meet the person I would spend my life with, and they had no idea they were affirming this incredible woman in detail whom I was about to meet. God is so good, and he loves us so much. We just need to trust what he says, not always the words of religious pastors who have no clue about the truth about how God made us to be. God is the master creator, and his beautiful creativity goes further than just a straight man and a woman. His love knows no bounds.

[What resources were instrumental in my journey towards affirmation?] Kathy Baldock’s YouTube series “Clobbering the Mess,” God is Grey YouTube [channel] and podcasts, Changing our Minds by Dr. David Gushee, and many more!

My lovely fiancé and I now live together in a beautiful home with our goofy big dog, our cat, and two Guinea pigs, enjoying life together and inspiring those around us to be who they are and to tell them that God loves them so much! We know there is a lot of work to still be done, but we will do all we can to help anyone who is in a dark place and needs someone to reach in and give them some hope. I never knew I could someday be this happy and that God would get me through those dark times, but he has, and I am so grateful that I never gave up on life and on love.