Growing up, I knew I liked guys. I dated girls, but they were my besties—not the ones I’d fall in love with.

When I reached the age of 12, after a traumatic family experience, I began to feel shame and guilt for being who I was. I started to think that being gay was bad and if I acted on it, it would be even worse. I came out to my family, friends, and church leaders when I was 15 in the hope that they would help me to change, but all that happened was conversion therapy, lots of prayers of deliverance, trying to be more masculine, to have more guy friends, to try to date girls. I could keep going for hours explaining all the tiny habits I built that were toxic, totally fake, and against my nature just to be the Isaac that people would like me to be. But this wasn’t me, it has never been.

When I came out once again this year at 24 years old after 10 years of suppressing a part of me, I began to feel what freedom really felt like. I was proud to be me, I was happy to be me, I could be whoever I was meant to be and nothing was forced or faked, I was just me, in all my colors.

I started to deconstruct lots of bad thoughts and habits, and processing things with God really showed me how bad the anti-gay theology is.

People were trying to heal and cast out demons in me when truly God was screaming that His creation was wonderfully made. I hope and pray that the Church one day will be able to see and attest that ALL of me was wonderfully made in the image of God. I’m amazed to be able to finally love people around me for who they are, in all their diversity, all their colors and traits. I’m thankful to be supported by my family and friends, and I’m mostly thankful for God who showed me what love really looked like.