I pastored Southern Baptist churches for about 20 years. For most of that time, whenever someone confided in me that they were gay or lesbian, our church policy was to recommend conversion therapy. At the time, we believed that change in someone’s orientation was possible. However, as the years past, it became evident that calling them to change wasn’t helping. In fact, it was quite the opposite. People were falling into hopelessness, despair and self hate.

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In the 12 years since that conference, I have sat with and listened deeply to the traumatic stories of 100’s of ex-gay survivors. I belong to a group of former ex-gay leaders and we regularly advocate to ban the practice of conversion therapy and to educate the broader public on the incredible harm such efforts cause.

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I believe people who identify as LGBTQIA+ do not need to change their orientation and/or gender identity to be accepted and beloved children of God…But, like many people, what set me on my journey was listening, really listening, to my friends as they came out to me.

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