Lauren Barlass
Though there were signs earlier in life, I was hit with the reality of my sexuality when I fell in love with my college roommate. People were very suspicious that we were dating, but we were both so deeply closeted that we had never even considered it as an option. She was on a date with a classmate one day, and I remember thinking "please God, give me one more chance." I had never admitted the full extent of my attraction to her until that moment. Thankfully, I got my chance, and we are getting married next August!
I knew that it was possible to be LGBTQ+ and Christian, but I didn't think that it was an option for "serious Christians" like myself. In retrospect, distinguishing between "casual" and "serious" Christians is an arrogant and divisive way to look at faith, but it's what I believed at the time. I also believed that God wouldn't just make it a sin for no reason, so there must have been something seriously wrong with LGBTQ+ relationships. This is part of the reason it took me so long to realize I was in love with my roommate: I recognized that the way I loved her was good and holy, full of the Fruits of the Spirit, so there was no way it could be something I so closely associated with sin!
After graduation, I followed my roommate back to her hometown and we continued to live together. One day, we were having a very hard discussion, and she said to me "You know it's not like WE are going to get married, right?" to which I responded "Well why not?" Both of us devoted the next several weeks to really exploring the "why not," both theologically and practically for our circumstance. I devoured book after book, blog after blog, translation after translation, and finally came to the conclusion that the Bible clearly affirmed relationships like the one I aspired to have. In time, I came to see our relationship not just as something that is permissible in God's eyes, but rather something that is holy and which is used daily for my sanctification and personal growth. My fiancee and I would not be the people - or the Christians - we are today without the love that we share with one another.
During this process, I read just about everything I could get my hands on - both affirming and non-affirming. For hardcore context and interpretation, I love Bible, Gender, Sexuality. For something a little more accessible, I go to Torn or God and the Gay Christian. Beyond those resources, I found a lot of value in reading the testimonies of other LGBTQ+ Christians and becoming friends with some of those people in real life. My fiancee and I are part of a LGBTQ+ Christian support group, and the friendships we have made in that group have been life-changing.
My life now is everything I never even dreamed it could be. Coming out was a very difficult process, but it gave me the strength to be authentic in every area, not just my in my sexuality. As a shy, self-conscious teenager, I never would have imagined that I would be as bold, confident and social as I am today. Additionally, I now have a strong, healthy relationship with the woman of my dreams. Being an out-and-proud gay Christian can be difficult, but it has given me experiences and perspectives that I wouldn't trade for the world.