Zachary Oulton

A photo of Zachary in greyscale looking at the camera and smililng.

I first realized that I was different as a young child and realized that I was attracted to other men at age 11 or 12. While my parents were (and continue to be) affirming Christians, it wasn’t something that we talked about. I ended up adopting the perspective of most evangelical Christians around me and believed that being gay was wrong and that I could change. I tried my hardest to pray and ask God to make me straight.

I struggled in silence for a long time. After 10 years of hiding in secret, I came out to my best friend, but at the time, said that I was same-sex attracted and wanted to change and didn’t want to talk about it. 

Over the course of the next 5 years, I slowly did research and allowed myself to shift from thinking that I would change to choosing to be celibate. I believed that was the way I would honour God.

Earlier this year, I hit a breaking point where I believed that my only options were to either take my own life or choose to accept my sexuality. I chose to accept it, and I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been since then.

I decided to go on a date with a man. We met up, and I was very nervous and kind of hoped that it wouldn’t go well, because I knew if it did that my whole life would have to change. The date ended up being wonderful, and as I was walking home I felt the Holy Spirit whisper to my soul, “I love you and I approve of you.”

God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines was very reassuring to the perspective shift that I’d already had. I also appreciated Sarah Bessey’s blog post about becoming affirming. 

I was very fortunate to have a friend from a similar life and background as me who had come out 6 months before, and he was instrumental in supporting me on my journey.

I am unequivocally the happiest that I have ever been. I truly never believed that I would be where I am today. I feel so loved by Jesus, who has been faithful through this whole experience. I am dating the most wonderful man, and I’ve experienced such an outpouring of love and support from so many people in my life.

Unchanged StoriesQ Christian Admin