Elias Rowlandson

I've generally said I accepted being gay when I was 19,20. Before that was time, i was living in denial. The denial ramped up in mid teens but if I'm honest, it began about 13, 14.

I ingested negative views and beliefs from parents and other people. Lgbt people weren't seen as normal, healthy adjusted people. Rather the prevailing comments were we were sick, sinful lifestyles. Growing up with sda's, It was in some ways more severe than other church environments. Back in the day, Colin cook and his shameful organization; quest learning center was something orchestrated by the sda church.

I evaluated all the beliefs and comments from church, initially the anti lgbtq messaging then other things that preachers and regular people rehash.

Some resources that were instrumental in my journey towards affirmation were Lgbt affirming books,
organisations, and videos. Early on, Stranger at the Gate by Mel White, Taking a Chance on God by John J. McNeil, Homosexuality and Christian Faith: Questions of Conscience for the Churches by Walter Wink. Recent books I came across, Walking the Bridgeless Canyon by Kathy Baldock, and Torn by Justin Lee. Got to give a plug to sda kinship, later QCF. The books are good but they are intellectual and the human aspect comes with lgbt affirming groups, now yours, reformation project and others.

My life now, being gay is who I am, part of my identity. I identity as a person of faith. I don't think these aspects of my identity are colliding. And though growing up with anti gay rhetoric, it leaves its scars and lasting effects. Some of which is likely life enduring.